Monday, January 24, 2011
By Tricia Stevens
Many people feel texting can be impersonal, but Michael Fiore, a relationship coach and creator of the site Text Back The Romance TextTheRomanceBack.com thinks when done right, texting can help bring back the romance. “In some ways, electronic love mail is more romantic than love letters of the past because the contact is much more frequent so when you’re crazy-in-love you might be texting every five minutes, you’re constantly checking your phone for a text. It’s the rush of immediacy that makes this effective.”
Here are some tips for both men and women on sending their next love text:
Women to Men
His cell phone is the closest thing to “telepathy” that you can get
Rather than trying to force him to pay attention to you and “put the phone down,” texting him let’s you do a little bit of “relationship judo” and get him to do what you really want him to do without ever coming across as nagging or unreasonable at all.
Guys respond to visual stimuli
Guys are not always as emotionally complex as women and are a lot more blunt in their communication. If you want your guy to give you the romance and attention you crave, you’ve got to speak his language first. That means women should use visual language when texting.
Romantically, men need to feel like they are able to win you over all over again
The thrill of the flirt, the chase and feeling like he’s “still got it.” The “it” being the ability to capture your full attention. You stopped what you were doing to send him a note that addressed his interest to be your one and only focus of attention. It isn’t about control. It’s about feeling special and singular in your busy life.
Men to Women
Your woman’s cell phone is a “magic portal” to her deepest, most intimate mind
Women are already used to sharing their most intimate and private thoughts on the phone, through text and (less and less) through phone calls.
A woman is passionate at every age
The vast majority of women see their passions increase as they get into their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.
Women respond to verbal, descriptive and emotional stimuli
Women are hard-wired to respond to more cerebral material.