Text to a better relationship

Monday, January 24, 2011
By Tricia Stevens


Many people feel texting can be impersonal, but Michael Fiore, a relationship coach and creator of the site Text Back The Romance TextTheRomanceBack.com thinks when done right, texting can help bring back the romance. “In some ways, electronic love mail is more romantic than love letters of the past because the contact is much more frequent so when you’re crazy-in-love you might be texting every five minutes, you’re constantly checking your phone for a text. It’s the rush of immediacy that makes this effective.”

Here are some tips for both men and women on sending their next love text:

Women to Men

His cell phone is the closest thing to “telepathy” that you can get
Rather than trying to force him to pay attention to you and “put the phone down,” texting him let’s you do a little bit of “relationship judo” and get him to do what you really want him to do without ever coming across as nagging or unreasonable at all.

Guys respond to visual stimuli
Guys are not always as emotionally complex as women and are a lot more blunt in their communication. If you want your guy to give you the romance and attention you crave, you’ve got to speak his language first. That means women should use visual language when texting.

Romantically, men need to feel like they are able to win you over all over again
The thrill of the flirt, the chase and feeling like he’s “still got it.” The “it” being the ability to capture your full attention. You stopped what you were doing to send him a note that addressed his interest to be your one and only focus of attention. It isn’t about control. It’s about feeling special and singular in your busy life.

Men to Women

Your woman’s cell phone is a “magic portal” to her deepest, most intimate mind
Women are already used to sharing their most intimate and private thoughts on the phone, through text and (less and less) through phone calls.

A woman is passionate at every age
The vast majority of women see their passions increase as they get into their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s.

Women respond to verbal, descriptive and emotional stimuli
Women are hard-wired to respond to more cerebral material.

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8 years ago


I really like a guy but we’ve only met very briefly, however we’ve been texting every day for over a month, but he hasn’t asked me out. What does this mean? I’ll actually be seeing him in a social situation soon and don’t know how I should act around him. Do I play coy, be honest and ask him what the deal is or what. We share a lot of personal stuff to each other, but it never goes further than that! Please advise! Thanks.

Melissa thayer
Melissa thayer
7 years ago

You’ve got his attention or he wouldn’t be texting you back. Does he ever initiate the texts, or are you doing everything? Go to your social function, say hi and be friendly, BUT mingle with everyone. Be confident (men love confident women). Have fun and enjoy everyone’s company, but let him make the move with anything physical, etc. read his body language. Whatever you do, DON’T act needy out desperate. Guys like to be in control (so do we/ I.e…

5 years ago

Hi I am trying to get my ex-boyfriend back we were together for 17 years. He told me that he loved me but not in love with me. What kind of texting would be great to get him back and also in love with me? We broke up in august and he has been moving out since the second week of October.